The path on the forest with trees

Today was a bright and happy day for me as i predicted, I am actually seeing things clearly now, something are open and something are not so open. When i was blinded by my not thinking mind, i was fool that people around me are good but its was not true until i really open my eye and see. Some would ask me why am i working so hard during foundation year? Why am i doing things differently? Well to me, even when i in foundation, i am working my best to prove to myself even my body tell me they are tired, they can still improve and could create something nice and brilliant. I also want to prove myself that i am not like in High school anymore, this is college, every work done have to be completed before the deadline no matter what the circumstances. I feel disappointed sometimes seeing that some would want to delay the dead line. I know its a good thing, but to me, if you make it a habit once in the real world, you will just make the client angry and you will lose money. That how i think. I also want to do my best so that my parents won't have to worry and won't disappointed in me. I want to them to trust me, that i am a good son and i will work my very best 24 hours 7days, even when i say its stupid to not sleep cause i know it is, i can't have no sleep. The last time i did it was during my last college semester, i came to class looking like a piece of garbage and could not control my anger sometimes. That a really bad experience for me and people around me. But if i have to not sleep to do my work, that i will... just to be proud that my work its at that level that i am satisfied. Not many could see things the way i do, as they think i am crazy or retard.


I watch a movie in art and theater class today, It was on Vincent Vangoh the story. He was an artist people thinks he crazy cause he draws and paint everyday at least 3 master piece, but to me his not crazy, he was trying to prove something. He was trying to prove that he love the people around him, he cares for other by painting and drawing their daily life. To show others what it really mean to him in his view point of view. He died a lonely man, as there is not one who likes him, people thinks his crazy cause he was different. At last he committed suicide as the pressure was too much. He became famous only when his dead!... Think of him. When he was alive. His story really means something.

I learn a lot today and start to see things even more differently than last time.